Entry: I made a promise.. Monday, November 22, 2004



I posted an entry about an hour ago, but it didn't go through.

Seth IMed me out of no where.

It was horrible. I'll post the conversation later.

I called Tyler right after Seth blocked me several times (all on different screen names), and I was crying. I wanted to die.

Tyler made me promise not to do anything stupid, and I agreed. I just did something horrible, but it felt so good. Obviously, I didn't end up killing myself, so it's fine.

I want to be released from my pain.

But I promised.

Now left alone to my thoughts, I keep reminding myself that I promised him I wouldn't, after Seth supposedly wanted to help me, but turned around and talked about that girl, spitting in my face all the good qualities in her that he hated in me..

I can't live with that.

But I promised.

I called Tyler because I had to... I couldn't trust myself after Seth blocked me... I needed to talk to someone, and Tyler was the first and only person to pop in my head. He's a very good friend.

I don't know if what I did was right or wrong, but it's done, and I know I'll do it again and again. I need to be free.

But I promised... but this isn't *that* stupid, is it?

*sighs*

I'll be gone until probably Saturday. We're leaving on vacation, but hopefully, I'll find internet access somewhere there..

Someone pray I keep my promise.

Blessed ventures,
~*~Markie~*~
   5 comments

Kie
May 19, 2005   12:24 PM PDT
 
Tricia, I posted this back in November. I haven't been able to come back on this blog since my parents read it and decided it was best for me to take a long break from it. I recently got back on AIM, so maybe one day I will IM you. Thank you for your prayers, as I'm still finding myself dealing with these issues even now. But things have gotten better and God has shown me more and more each day how amazing He really is and how much I know He can change my life around.
Thank you again for your comment. =)
~*Markie*~
tricia
May 6, 2005   09:53 PM PDT
 
hi, you dont know me, i was looking up lyrics to a song and it sent me to your website, so this may not mean much to you, but i will pray that you keep your promise, and i again, i dont know you and you dont know me, but if you ever want to talk to someone, i will listen my screen name is: lives4thelord07 i wont bother you any more, hope your weekend gets better
FreudianSlip
December 4, 2004   10:20 PM PST
 
I hope you get a break during your vacation and that you have a chance to just be free of the stress youre carrying with you.

briann
November 26, 2004   10:39 PM PST
 
i pray that you dont break your promise to.

hey...im sorry its been so long since ive visited...its just been um...hectic lately...

im sorry to hear about everything...but i pray that you find your light at the end of the tunnel...
i have, and its quite amazing. at least for now i think everything will be okay. i think i can live now. at least i will try. and i want to thank you so much for your comments. really. its so thoughtful of you. and i just got internet today (11.26) so if you care to chat, i.m me on aim: abnormal android

i hope you do well. i hope you find your way through this.

=bri
Delusion Overdose
November 23, 2004   06:43 PM PST
 
u went on vacation...and u didnt tell me?but its ok,i'm not that important to u to tell me everything!:)

y do u want to end ur life over someone as useless as seth?he's not worth it,trust me...esp with a SN like paintbalforjesus..it sounds liek he wants to shoot jesus with a paintball,and dont let me comment on the basketballseth one...lol!:)
but anyways he is ..like i told him... a *cough*bastard*cough*! he mite have been ur whole world back then,but he doesnt care bout u now,so u shouldnt care bout him!if i went over there(to kentucky)and met seth,i wouldnt think twice to beat his head in(and ending his basketball career by breaking both his legs in..lol),then when he is taken care of(and eating thru a straw).i'll show u how an amazing woman should b treated.

i went thru something similar to ur dilemma,but i look back at Isabel and smile,coz altho she was and stil is a conniving sucubus,she taught me how too handle my 'next encounter'.

U WILL get over seth,maybe not tomorrow or in a weeks time,but u WILL,so think of that day,when u can look back at seth and laugh

u keep 'seeing' seth for what you to 'HAD'and then letting u 'fall'...HARD, this is the natural way too see things, but u must see this from a different angle...he was a bastard to u, if he really cared bout u,he wouldnt of done what he did,he is also a coward for not telling u sooner and for not giving u a valid reason now for what he did.

but like vasant and alot of other people have sed,seth DOESNT deserve u(he deserves a stupid blonde girl,so they can have the same IQ in common...lol).another reason he let u 'fall' could be that he found out that he couldnt handle a REAL woman,like u,it takes a (willing,patient,sensitive,caring,etc,etc) man(like me...lol) to do that,and he seems to be just a little boy with his balls on his mind(in reference to paintBALL&basketBALL...lol)

well this post/comment turned out longer than expected...soz if u fell asleep half-way of sheer boredom

hope to hear from u SOON

*hugs and (friendly) kisses*

Aids

Leave a Comment:

Name


Homepage (optional)


Comments